Wow a month without a post

Well, it's been a month since i posted last.  Crazy times here.  Still no positive EPT and we are at the 2 week wait again.  Easter went great here and now mother's day is coming up on Sunday.  Which we are hosting AGAIN.  I love to cook.  I love to host, but EVERY single holiday, birthday or occasion is held at me and Jerry's house.  Of course until it's mine or Jerrod b-bay.  Then his family can't be found!   I don't mind cooking or hosting holidays or events, what presses my buttons is that now it is assumed that everything always happens here!  I would like to discuss it maybe, since I'm the one that has to do all the cooking and prepping!  Jerrod doesn't seem to get it cuz he LOVES having his family over.   I tried to explain it to him this am, but he like"I like showing off the house and feel more comfortable having it here".  I felt like telling him then you do all the cooking!  MEN!   Now my parents are feeling left out and Jerrod doesn't seem to GET why.  First there is almost a 13 year difference in my parents(younger) and his parents(older) ages. Two, they have nothing in common.  Three, for my parents parties or than the 3 major holiday are spent going out to eat or to a movie.  And that's what my mom wants for mothers day.  To go to the new Star Trek on Sunday.  Now Jerrod's feathers are all ruffled cuz my mom was a little snippy and said something like well you'll just have to tell your guests that you have other plans that afternoon.  I don't see why we can't do both.  Jerrod wants his folks and sisters over at like 9am and the movie starts at like 2:30pm.  Are his parents gonna stick around for 5 hours?  I know I'm supposed to be a gracious host, but when can you tell people to get the F*** out.   I think that's what I'm going to do.  I'll tell his side that brunch is going to be at 9am and you have to leave by 1pm because I have other plans!  I'm to the point where I almost don't care about his families feelings anymore, I shouldn't say family, just his mom.  Who I think is worse than the mom from Everybody loves Raymond!   She is famous for those little back handed comments.  One of my all time fav's was when we were looking thru old pictures of me as a kid to put up for the wedding. There was a 7th grade picture of me and I was painfully thin.  6 months before I had my tonsils taking out and cuz the dumb doc did it wrong I could only have Jello and water for 4 months.  You'd drop weight too!  Anyway she says " OH look how skinny you were then, well maybe just work out a bit more and you can get back there"  Back where 90 some lbs. and before I hit puberty?!  Anyway that's my little vent for today. I'll try not to stay away so long next time. 

7 days and waiting

I've got 7 days to wait before I can take an EPT. I hate this waiting jazz. Like I said in my last post I could not figure out those OV test strips so me and J have bedded every other or everyday this month. If I'm not pregnant I'm going to buy a fertility monitor. You can get them on E-bay for $50. I have had weird stomach pains/aches for the past two days, but that just might be my period starting. Trying not to get your hopes up is like trying not to breathe. I just love how in high school they told you how easy it was to get pregnant. Like is a guy even looked in your direction, BAM! you'd have a baby on the way. Who knew it came down to exact timing and then you only have a 50/50 chance. They should teach that in high school. To keep myself busy I've been finishing a quilt my great grandma started before she past away. It's a sun bonnet sun and the top is all done. Looking at each sue, she used scrapes of fabric. There is one that was one of her aprons and another that was a shirt she used to wear. I have the backing all done and it's basted together and now I just have to 'quilt' it. Easter is all planned. Jerrod's side is coming by us at noon, and then we are going to go to my grandparents down the road after a bit. I hope I'm preggers. My plan is to put blocks in Easter eggs that will spell BABY when everyone opens their egg. We did this last year but we put special Easter candy in it. I think everyone would get a kick. For my parents I want to find a mug or tee shirt that says grandpa on it, it was my dad's b-day a week ago so I can do the whole sorry about the late present thing. But for now it's just waiting and waiting and waiting........

Same old soup just reheated

Nothing to new here in ol' Wisconsin. The snow is almost all melted, but they are calling for more this weekend. I've been doing the OV tests and I can't make heads or tails of the dumb thing. Pee is in the cup, check. Dip stick in cup for 10 sec., check. Pull out stick and wait for control line to appear, check. Wait 5 min, but no more than 8 min to read, check and ummmm. If the "test" line appear your Oving, BUT only if the line is as dark as the control and only if it appeared in the 1st 5 min. Well, I got 2 dark lines everyday since the last day of my period so what.....I'm Oving? Yes, no, I give up. I didn't want to miss the window so me and Jerrod bedded every other day so far. Until a few days a ago when he had a mini freak out again. It was in the am before work we had an hour to kill cuz the dog woke us up early and we had everything done. So I thought I would be cute and started to tempt Jerrod. He was all ready to go to the bedroom or at least his body was when he stopped. He mumbled something about needing to get to work and just up and left! I was so P.O.ed! He ended up being 45mins early for work and spent that time texting me,"r u mad honey...I lov u...." I ignored the 1st couple of textes and then let him have it. What is the deal, am I that fat that you can't stand having sex with me?, I texted. I knew that would get him, cuz I've been working out hardcore and have lost some lbs. No, he says. Yada Yada, more texted and he's not telling me the problem and then finally 5 min before he has to punch in. I'm worried about being a good dad, he textes. That's it? That's the reason we stopped? I thought it was going to be something huge like he didn't want kids ever. So again I had to baby him and tell him it was alright and that every dad to be goes thru this. It made him feel better and we have continued onward! So now we wait, well still bedding, but waiting until my cycle comes. If it's a normal cycle I should know about 3 days before Easter. Which would be soo cool if we were pregnant, to have both sides of the family there to tell them all at once!

Belly Laughs and Warm weather

Well the warm weather was here. In Wisconsin anything above 35 and we break out the shorts and tank tops! The kids went to Disney World for their spring break so I had a week off. Which I spent doing every ones taxes. I'm not sure how I got picked to do it....We have Taxcut and it's pretty easy, I did mine and Jerrod's in less than an hour, but now all the relatives are coming out of the wood work asking me to do their taxes...for FREE! I think my time is worth a little more than just a thank you. I'm not asking to be paid much, heck buy me lunch or something! Anyway with the warm weather me and Jerrod have been going for walks with our dog, Mercedes, every evening before supper. Boy did I pack the winter weight on! Before winter Jerrod an I could walk to the edge of town and back, 4 miles total, now we are both huffing by the time we get to the stop sign, 1 mile! When the kids came back, I started going on walks with them as well. We go once in the am while Morgan is in school and then again after lunch and rest time if it's nice out. Laina keeps me at a fast pace since she's riding her BIG girl bike and I have to keep saying RED light to make her wait for me and Quinn, he had a little car/stroller. I've felt great, until this am when it's fricken cold! I also think I'm going to look online for a good yoga dvd. I have 10min yoga but the chick goes to fast and I can barely keep up.
I was walking through Target looking at Baby stuff and what I would buy when we get knocked up and I saw Jenny McCarthy's book Belly Laughs. It was on sale so I thought why not, I've heard good reviews. That is by far the Funniest book I have ever read on getting and being pregnant! Her style and mine are pretty close, tell it like it is and body functions are funny! She talks about everything from peeing on the side of the road cuz her husband didn't understand drive faster to get home, to being worried about pooing on the table during deliver. I suggest everyone to go out and buy it!
We are still trying to conceive this month with the help of the herbs I've been taking and ovulation test strips. My only problem is that the cup that they give you to pee in is to fricken small. I try to use my morning pee, but after not going all night no way that little cup is holding it all. I tried peeing a little and then sticking the cup in, overflowed still. I tried to pee a little bit in the cup and then move it away so I could finish. It was just too messy, so I up graded the cup to a kid plastic cup we got somewhere and never use. So now I'm just waiting for the other little line to appear to me and Jerrod can try again.

Shopping and Shape Mag.

Well, I'm def. not pregnant. Darn! But after talking to Linda and a herbalist on line; me and Jerrod picked up some herbage at our local natural food market. We got Maca, which we are both to take- makes you frisky and help a women ovulate; Royal Jelly- I just take-again with helping ovulation and egg development and last I picked up some soy isoflavons- supposed to work like a natural clomid.* Jerrod has been joking that if I keep taking these, we'll end up with twins or something. I tell him, no problem, I'd love twins! We went shopping in Appleton. Jerrod had to go to Williams and Sonoma to get dish towel and them we went to Macy's and picked up a food scale, colander and some super cute Martha Stewart cookie cutters in springtime shapes. I also picked up my face wash by Derm a Doctor and after even one use, I can tell a difference. Then it was off to Old Navy...disappointing. Online they have petite sizes, but in store NOOO! Jerrod found a nice shirt and blazer for Easter, so I'll have to do my shopping online.
With the winter storm on Sunday we stayed in and watched our cozy fire. I was reading my new Shape mag. and they had in there about cloth diapers. Jerrod and I have decided that when we do have kids we are going to use cloth. I did alot of research and truly believe cloth is the way to go. The Shape article was about ways to go green and it said not to use cloth diapers. Their reasons were 1. same impact on the envrio. as reg. diapers because of the water used and 2. parents don't have time to wash diapers and what parent would want to. That made me mad! My reasons for using them 1. think about the resources it took to make a reg. diaper vs. a cloth; 2. water is a renewable resource and what washer isn't HE now.; 3. you have to wash baby clothes just as much as you have to wash everything for a baby. So what's the big deal? I guess if my sister Mag was Fit Pregnancy and Pampers did alot of advertising in my Mag. I'd boo cloth too.
*I am not a doctor. Do not take anything I say I'm taking without discussing it with your doctor first. What my work for me, may not work for you.

Well where is it?!

I'm officially 4 days late and 2 HPT's negaitive. I keep going over my calender to see if there is some way I counted wrong. I know I was sick for a 1 day and half, but that shouldn't throw my cycle off that much.... Jerrod thinks that I'm stressing out to much about it. Well it's really starting to tee me off. If I am, great why won't it just show a positive. If I'm not OK, but I want to start taking some fertility tea and herbs that Linda suggested over the phone. I can not take anything until my cycle shows up....GRRRRR! Jerrod thinks by taking me shopping this weekend in Appleton will help take my mind off of it. He's right in a way. I need to go to the Ulta store and get some special face cleaner. Apparently I have dandruff of the face. I know gross. I get really flaky around my nose and eyebrows. The derm. said to by this soap by Derma a Doc, Born to Be Mild. So I hope that works. I also want to get some new bare minerals eyeshadow in purple. It really brings out my eyes. Plus Old Navy now sells jeans with inseam and petite sizes! I can never find jeans that fit my curvy figure and that aren't two miles too long! If I do find a pair that is the right inseam, it's always in a size 0 or 00 or 1, jeans that fit my curves, I wear anywhere from a size 7(Maurice's) to a size 9/10(Jorache or Levi), they are way too long. I hate it when my jeans drag on the ground. Even when I wear heels they still drag! Once I would like to wear a pair of flats with jeans and not look like a mermaid! I know I could tailor them, but I don't have the time or money for that. So we shall see how the Old Navy jeans stack up. And if I don't start by period by Monday I'm call the Doctor!

It's all in your Head

That's what I'm beginning to think when I thought I was pregnant. I took the test yesterday and the little pink line gave me a big thumbs down! What How can that be? I've been burping so much Jerrod was keeping a tallie, my stomach felt queasy in the am, I had aversions to certain foods...What gives? My mind was racing with these thoughts as I was in the shower and then a little bit of grief, feeling a failure and despair set in. Jerrod was out side with our dog chopping wood for the fire place. When he came in I was sitting on the couch in my PJs, i don't care if it's only 4:30, staring at the test. "So," he says. That's all it took. I burst into tears and vent my concerns. I'm normally not a big cry baby, but man I really really thought I was. Jerrod was doing his best to comfort me and he did a pretty good job. " No, it's not your fault. Yes, I still love you. Yes, we'll keep trying. I think your putting too much stress on yourself. I know it's easier said than done. Well, you did have the flu really bad, maybe that's why your late. Don't worry God has a plan. We'll go talk to Linda." Linda is our kineseologist. It all has to do with muscle alignment, if a muscle or organ is not in proper alignment, you will get sick or depression or whatever. I was very skeptical the first time Jerrod took me, but Damn if it doesn't work. Your body knows! I can go in there not tell Linda anything, I mean not talk at all about what is wrong or how I feel, and by just checking my muscles and can tell my why I came! She has never been wrong and has helped lots of people. When we were looking for a house, she told use about November we would find one. We didn't listen and looked at one in July. Months of back and forth with the owners and we were out bid. That same day our mortgage lady we were dealing with mentioned a house she passes everyday on the way to work that we should take a look at....November 1st we closed the deal! So next week we are going to Linda's to find out what is up and when we should have a baby. The last time we were there she said it was OK for us to start trying, well we've been trying and failing! I don't like to fail! I'm convinced that after Linda's everything will be clear.